Ankara released a message: ‘Too long has our name been negatively associated with failure. And if we’re going to be linked to a festive meal, why that ridiculous bird? Why couldn’t we be called Cranberry Sauce – too rude, I suppose. Annoyingly some of the best names are already taken. Belgium has got dibs on the sprouts, Ukraine is nothing but stuffing these days and the UK is just a nation of pigs in blankets’
image from pixabay
First published 6 June 2022
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It starts with the USA slamming Columbia up against the lockers and stealing their coffee and strutting off and seeing what Greenland has in their lunchbox. North Korea giggles and throws a drinks can which misses everything and lands in a pond.
Russia, still with a plaster over their nose from the fight with Ukraine, smiles whilst sitting menacingly in the corner. China looks around to see how everyone reacts and then throws something at Taiwan. The European Clique tuts, shakes their heads and goes back to their trading cards.
The UK still aimlessly wanders around trying to not cause a scene, complimenting China’s trainers, giving Ukraine a thumbs up and asking what game the rest of Europe is playing.
Poland looks at Finland and nods whilst excessively sharpening a pencil, waiting for any excuse to mess Russia up. Wonder how that story is going to pan out. They will still run with the ongoing middle east crisis shenanigans, Israel is still kicking a curled-up Palestine but at least that awful Syrian plot has taken a new direction.
The new version of the USA might not last a full season, but it has everyone’s interest whether they like the new character arc or not.
Photo by Mathias Reding on Unsplash