Somewhere abroad of little interest and no consequence has undergone what is known to the educated elite as a coup d'état. Perhaps even a coup d'état of a coup d'état. One should not be alarmed, as it is only in these sleepy backwaters that such outrageous events occur. It does, however, provide a momentary distraction from more important affairs at home in our Great Honduro-Gautamalan Empire.
Flimsy reports from local press, which cannot be relied upon due to underdeveloped genitals and small hands, suggest that the self-proclaimed ageing leader of The Tangerine Republic, Trumpus Maximus, was stabbed in the back by a friend previously thought to be a close ally.
'O Henry!' were the cries heard throughout the tangerine groves, the Republic's primary export* (*controlled by GH-GE Incorporated) as blood spilled the colour of a blood orange. If it was not genuine blood, then probably some form of inferior dye.
The formerly trusted X-friend, Eronius Mvskipus - and one should not smirk at such odd names, for they cannot help it - stormed the entirety of the governing complex accompanied by a handful of young boys. It should be noted that this was no mean feat, as maximum security was present at the time in the form of a small dog called Brutus.
It is thought that Mvskipus gained full access to a rusting cabinet containing an IOU note, and an abacus with several beads missing. Although this may not sound serious to those of us in developed parts of the world, it is believed to be the sum total of the nation's wealth, in the form of surprisingly high debt.
Offers of assistance have thus far been rejected as The Tangerine Republic is a proud nation. But there is a glimmer of hope for a less chaotic future. Further pretenders to the throne who in turn wish to overthrow Mvskipus, have been asked to form an orderly queue. As more details emerge, this publication will of course inform you of who is actually in charge of The Tangerine Republic on a week-by-week basis. And indeed, what its new name shall become.
Image: HOCKULUS - Pixabay
