top of page

A quick guide to US presidents



Thomas Jefferson (1801-1809). The only president to give his name to a successful rock band. Eisenhower Airplane and Van Buren Airplane somehow never made the big time.


Abraham Lincoln (1861-1865). Assassinated. Ford's Theatre still offering special half-price deals to presidents to win back business lost due to the "unfortunate shooting incident".


Calvin Coolidge (1923-1929). Owing to his staple diet of rum and baked beans he was known as Silent-but-Deadly Cal.


Herbert Hoover (1929-1933). Spent so much time at his family business he didn't see the Crash coming. This led to the XXth Amendment to the Constitution: "The President shall not sell vacuum cleaners on White House time".


Ronald Reagan (1981-1989). Won over the crucial Weird Loner vote with his famous "Shoot me and impress Jody Foster" speech.


Joseph Biden (2021- ). An enigma, even to himself. Voted Most Likely to Invade Canada. Keeps forgetting where he left the remote control for the nuclear missiles.




98 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Biden proposes free eye care bill

Following the attempted assassination on Donald Trump, Joe Biden is proposing a bill that would give all citizens free eye tests & glasses for those who own firearms. He stated “Until fire arms are ba

Comments


bottom of page