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Best of NewsBiscuit: May 2025



May 2025


Back in May 2025. the Reform Party won 677 council seats out of around 1,600 up for grabs. Sound familiar? And a Chinese player beat the British player in the World Snooker final. Déjà vu?

And Council Tax went up by 5% and inflation went up. Is 2026 just 2025 on repeat? And the Bank of England cut interest rates. OK. Maybe not.


In the UK, the government announced 1,400 early prisoner releases so that we could punish more recent crimes, and Keir Starmer made one of his famous U-turns, this time on winter fuel payments. The government was under pressure on the two child benefit cap, but artfully delayed any action until November. And Britain signed a deal to hand over the Chagos Islands to Mauritius. That went well.


In international news, Europe (and a few Americans) celebrated the 80th Anniversary of VE Day. And the UK agreed a ‘transformational’ trade deal with India – remember that? We’ve all certainly noticed the difference.


Here is a selection of our favourite NewsBiscuit stories from May 2025. Click through to read the stories and see the author credits. Scroll down to see some of the month’s best headlines.


Politics


Lifestyle


Entertainment


Other news


And some headlines


Politics

Trump claims crowds still booing Biden

Boris Johnson strongly supports Farage's plan to lift two-child benefit cap

Assisted Dying bill slipping away

Trump blasts corrupt Eurovision as US fails to win yet again

Two-child benefit cap to be scrapped, but third child to be taxed from six months

Digging gets underway to find Tories latest poll rating


Business and the economy

Bistro closes because all its servers are down

Deal to bring back MFI stores falls apart

Four in 10 universities face financial challenges - that's over 75%

Man puts tanning salon plans on the back burner

Struggling blinds company told - 'pay up or it's curtains'

New reservoir plans don't hold water


Other nonsense

Games teacher mistakenly celebrates the 80th Anniversary of P.E. Day

Police concerned over early prisoner release of former colleagues

Undercover officer still in bed

"Call The Midwife" film announcement premature, says BBC

Generous chimney seller tells customer: "It's on the house."

Mexican Navy ship crashes while captain looking for Gulf of Mexico on US map

Posh lady distraught after catching a common cold

Kid who swallowed magnets left in A&E on the fridge door



Image credit: deep dream generator

I voted for this and I am happy with this, and I am not in a cult


Standing defiantly in their red, made in China hat, a MAGA political fanatic repeated some recently learned phrases about short/long term gainpain before rambling the following diatribe:


'I voted for new wars, higher prices, paying for tariffs and masked government officials shooting Americans. Trump said he was going to alienate us and undermine NATO, he said that, I voted for that, and now he is doing it. I really wanted a new war, really, really wanted billions of dollars spent on a new war and not spent on helping Americans. I really wanted that, I always said I did, Trump was always about new wars, Kar-marl-lah would have got us into World Peace Three by now. A new war in the Middle East is everything I wanted. I think he is always right all the time, and he can do nothing wrong, so how is that like a cult?


'No one said they’d lower prices, no one said that. That would be insane. Massive price increases on everything, then sometime in the future, he said he would lower prices. How can you not understand that? Are you stupid, piggy?


'I have always hated Canada so much that they need to be part of the USA. Trump campaigned on taking Greenland, I have said this for ages that we need Greenland, always a top priority. Even though Trump has stopped talking about that for a bit.


'Trump always said he was going to protect rich people from being investigated in the Epstein Files. He would not stop saying how much he was going to only release a few bits, and that we should be happy with that and move on. I wanted that and it has happened. Promises made and promise kept.


'Trump also said I that I don’t miss my family. He campaigned on that and I am happy with that. It's painful when your own family can't see the obvious truths. So, I've just been suffering the short term pain for ten years now….'



Image credit: perchance.org

Trump's rotten center to close for renovations


The dark, foul pit right at the centre of Donald Trump's being will be closed over the coming week for an upgrade, according to the US federal administration.


'Trump's soul, if you can call it that, has been almost totally twisted and tarnished by decades of scheming, self-dealing and skulduggery in his business and political lives,' one of his White House handlers told the press, and some priests trying to conduct to an exorcism.


'But however depraved he has become in his mind and spirit, his followers expect better. That's why we'll be closing Trump's demented psyche down for a week for refurbishment, while his body lies comatose in an open coffin.


'When he arises from the dead at night, he will be even more outrageously venal, vengeful and vulgar than ever before.


'In the meantime, you'll have to be content with the almost equally obnoxious words and behaviour of JD Vance and Robert 'Disgrace to his Family Name' Kennedy.


'And can somebody get those priests out of here! They'll ruin everything!'



Image credit: perchance.org

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