Panorama releases more dodgy Trump clips

The BBC’s Panorama programme announced today it has some more clips of President Trump saying awful things.

The clips appear to show Trump admitting the moon landings were faked, confessing to being the Boston Strangler, encouraging John Wilkes-Booth to assassinate Abraham Lincoln and telling the residents of Pompeii not to worry as 'Vesuvius always makes noises like that.'

However, critics have pointed out that the footage seems very jerky, suggesting these are different bits of film crudely spliced together - an impression strengthened by the fact that Trump often appears to change clothes several times in the course of a sentence. Moreover, a lot of the footage doesn’t seem to be Trump at all, just the member of Panorama staff who does the best Trump impression wearing a silly wig.

'Guys, this really isn’t helpful,' said leading Democrat Chuck Schumer. 'What Trump actually says is awful enough, we don’t need you to make stuff up. It just encourages people not to trust what they see on the news.'

However, by the time Panorama had finished editing his statement, it sounded like he was coming out strongly in favour of the licence fee, and demanding Panorama be recommissioned for another season.

Image credit: perchance.org

1000 MAGA supporters score a collective IQ of zero in Harvard research project

In what's being seen by many as something of a blow to Donald Trump's planet-sized ego, researchers at Harvard University have revealed the results of a year-long project to determine the size of the average MAGA supporter's IQ.

Professor Stanley Unwin told reporters. 'Quite frankly, we have been stunned by the utter stupidity of these people. Collectively, the sample of participants managed not to even score a total of one. Thus making our control example, a registered intellectually challenged amoeba named Cody, smarter than the entire group.'

Meanwhile Trump took a break from fomenting World War 3 to tell reporters. 'This is fake research. My people are smart. They're real smart. They're the smartest. Fact. Everyone says so.'

Photo by Natilyn Hicks Photography on Unsplash

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Picture credit: WIX AI + deskpilot