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10 Reasons to vote Conservative – Number 4 will shock you!



1) Diversity in Prime Ministers, don’t just vote for Another-White-Man, we have incompetent leaders of different genders and races


2) Experience in Prime Ministers, we have had five different Prime Ministers within the last 8 years and Labour haven’t had one since 2010, that’s the “I Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas time period


3) Responsibility – the decent British mentality of if you broke it, you fix it. We wouldn’t want to leave all the problems we caused for someone else to clean up.


4) If you don’t, we will kill a puppy every hour, on the hour


5) You fear change. Change is bad and scary, stick with what you know, unless what you know is a union of European countries.


6) Blue Passports – You’re welcome


7) Trade deal with Peru – can’t you feel the sovereignty?


8) Availability of Food Banks – so many new ones are opening all the time


9) An aim to reduce some of the faecal matter in some of the waterways – achievable goals!


10) New Hospitals! New School Roofs! Dental care! We want them too and have already got private versions. None for you. Soz.




UK government plan to extend voting rights to dogs



The Conservative government today announced that they are planning to extend the franchise to include dogs.

Just like Brexit, dogs that live and work (and pay taxes) in the UK will only be eligible to vote if they can prove their British pedigree and credentials.


Some critics denounced the move as the latest in a series of desperate attempts to rig the forthcoming election, after introducing stringent ID checks for younger people, allowing retired ex-pats who have paid no tax to have a vote for life, and changing the electoral boundaries.


Nonetheless, others have cautiously welcomed the move. A member of the Lib Dems noted that compared to the 2016 Brexit vote and the 2019 General Election – when millions were consistently hoodwinked by bluster and buffoonery - dogs were likely to use their vote much more wisely than the broad electorate.


A spokeswoman for the RSPCA also noted that, ‘Dogs may not be able to detect pathological liars but, nonetheless, they do have a very keen sense of smell, and so they may well be able to sniff out professional bullsh*tters from a mile off – which could have a significant impact on the results of the next General Election.’




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