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Met Office weatherpersons are confident that, despite the current sunshine, rain will follow soon. It’s obvious, said a spokesperson.  It’s nearly Wimbledon and cricket starts soon.  It stands to reason that it’s going to rain.’


Records going back 140 years show that it always rains on Wimbledon, and it always rains on cricket.  Statisticians see a strong correlation between heavy rain and England’s international cricket matches at home.   And there is a similar correlation between heavy rain and the seeding of England’s tennis players at Wimbledon. The higher the seeding, the more likely the rain.


The forecasters are not confident about rain for the one-day international match against Zimbabwe, but they reckon that rain during the matches against the Windies is a dead cert.


For Wimbledon fortnight, they point out that, despite some recent setbacks, Jack Draper is on passable form and fairly likely to make it to the second week of Wimbledon. This increases the chance of bad weather a lot.


A spokesman said, ‘the weather always likes to spring surprises. Our analysis shows that rain is more likely when English players are on the outside courts. As soon as they get onto a court with a roof, then rain becomes much less likely. Although everyone should expect to suffer from a significant depression centred on Wimbledon towards the end of the second week.’






'I admit that I outraged the world with my Superbrat behaviour on court, throwing racquets in a temper and calling umpires "the pits",' John McEnroe told White House reporters.


'But look at what Trump's just done. He's deported 261 Venezuelan gang members to El Salvador, blatantly ignoring a court order to turn the plane around and bring them back.


'Man, that's some impressive contempt of court by the President," continued the three-time Wimbledon champion.


'And then he said a single judge in a single city couldn't stop him from getting his way.


'I wish I'd had that much contempt for court orders. Then, I could have gone from tournament to tournament, awarding myself point after point and winning all my matches without throwing a single little hissy fit.'


'McEnroe's a loser,' said a White House spokesman. 'President Trump has won many more Opens than him - and if any news organisation points out that he's lying about that, he'll shut them down for telling fake news, like he did with Voice Of America.'


Photo by Moises Alex on Unsplash

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