Woman finds exact nanosecond local Barclays Bank is open

Laura Hills from Bridgend has managed to get personal counter service from her local Barclays Bank by entering the branch at the split second it opened and just before it rapidly closed.

The bank clerk serving her was so surprised to find a customer had made it inside she had to spend fifteen minutes reminding herself what her job was.

Branch Manager, Jim Morgan, was equally befuddled. “This should not have happened. We are doing our level best to force customers online by only opening for the briefest time possible. I hope you can understand, for one of our employees to have had to serve someone was an extremely traumatic experience. She’s now having time off for counselling, which means we will have to restrict our opening seconds even more.”

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Woman depressed after finding out friend successfully completed marathon

A woman has been left deeply depressed after discovering her close friend has successfully complete a marathon.

Emma, 34, was eating biscuits and watching Netflix when the news came in: 'I knew she was planning to run a marathon for charity and I went along with it, donating a tenner and sending motivational messages like 'you got this!' and 'you're going to smash it!' but I didn't for a minute believe she would actually complete it. My stomach dropped through the floor when I saw a picture of her on Facebook, standing on the finishing line, holding her medal. I zoomed in to try and spot her tears of misery but she looked genuinely happy. I was sick to my stomach - which may just have been too many biscuits to be fair.

How dare she do this to me, all I want is to eat junk food and sit on my arse without someone rubbing their sporting success in my face. What a bitch.

I replied to her post with 'Wow that's amazing, I am so proud of you' and lots of thumbs up emojis before having a good cry over how utterly selfish and thoughtless she is'.

Emma has heard another friend of hers is planning to do an Iron Man and has her fingers crossed for a spectacular failure to dig her out of her pit of despair.