‘We could run out of make-up within days’ warn Dubai influencers

‘We could run out of make-up within days,’ warn Dubai influencers

Influencers across Dubai have warned that make-up supplies and beauty product are running low and could run out within days unless the Government acts now to replenish their dwindling stocks.

You Tube influencer Gemma from South London said the Government must step in to make sure beauty products and top brand merchandise can reach those that need it most.

‘This war could not have come at a worse time’ said Gemma…..’I’ve got a whole new range of Satin Kajal liquid eyeliner to promote and my internet connection could go down at any minute.

'The support we have had from the English Government has been woeful so far….It’s almost as if we influencers are irrelevant, of no importance….. It is terrible that people are dying….I get that. But I’m trying to sell leading brands of eye-liner and nail polish here….I can’t do that with bombs and guns lighting up the sky in the background of my You Tube feed.

'I’ve got 100,000 followers waiting to see me applying skin tone to my cheek bones later tonight…..I’ve got a new rich cool-toned product endorsed by Hollywood celebrities. Nobody wants to hear the sound of ambulance sirens and fire fighters drowning out my interview with Selena.

'Even everyday things like cotton wool are running low….those selfish people at the hospital are stock piling it all and making an influencers life virtually impossible.

'If it carries on like this for much longer I would like the Government to send a Gulfstream to get me and my two cats out of here.

'There are times when life can be so unfair’.

Image: armennano - Pixabay

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Starmer to deploy very strict regulations to the Middle East

"I regret to say that HMS Puff the Magic Dragon is not yet ready to sail to the Eastern Mediterranean,' Sir Keir Starmer told the nation in a prime ministerial broadcast, 'preferring to live by the sea in a land called Honah Lee - otherwise known as Portsmouth.

'So instead, we will be sending to the war zone a set of very strict rules and regulations.

'In the event of the Islamic Revolution Guard Corps launching missiles on RAF Akrotiri in Cyprus or the Mall of the Emirates in Dubai, a civil servant in a bowler hat will inform them that their actions are directly contrary to the 1949 Geneva Conventions and customary international law.

'This will prove that the UK is doing the maximum it can to maintain the rules-based international order.

'And rest assured that we will eventually get round to sending HMS Puff, just as soon as it has stopped playing with strings and sealing wax and other fancy stuff.'

The Royal Navy has two other, almost functioning, ships in its fleet: HMS Chatbot and HMS Drooler (formerly HMS Duke of York).

USA explains the "special" in special relationship means retarded

A four-star General explained: 'We are very mindful of using inclusive language and avoiding harmful labelling. In no way do we want undermine or devalue an individual on the basis of physical impairment, but we can all agree the British are f$*king mental.'

The backwards manner in which the UK follows America into one illegal war after another, is a clear sign that the lights on but no one is home. Sending British troops to their death just to get a tickle under the chin by Donald Trump is very definition of madness.

'Call it Political Correctness, call it Woke,, we don't want to give offense—but you have to agree that the Brits have a special gift—they're as thick as $hit. I would never use the "R" word to describe another human being, but in relation to Keir Starmer he really is "R" and a bit of a "C" as well.'