Updated: Jan 3, 2022
Merseyside Police have finally tracked down the whereabouts of a missing body part – which had left one girl bereft of a nose for two decades. Officers found the stolen respiratory organ in a mason jar, in an abandoned cellar. The jar was said to contain an assortment of children’s noses and the pickled remains of the Tooth Fairy.
Having spent most of her life with ‘crime scene’ tape tied around her head, Cicely (23) spoke of her continued trauma: ‘He put the knuckles of his index and middle fingers on either side of my nose – and the next thing I know, it’s gone! I look like an idiot’.
The culprit, her grandfather, had at the time brazenly boasted ‘I've got your nose’ – but now expressed regret: ‘It was just a joke. Like asking my grandson to pull my finger. Or telling my daughter to give up some bone marrow. When people say ‘you’ve got your mother’s eyes’ – well I’ve literally got a whole Tupperware box full of them. It’s not as if it was a nice nose anyway’.
Child Girl Face - Free photo on Pixabay
Get more NewsBiscuit humour on Amazon