World endures 24-hour salvo of gloating from Trump

'I came, I bombed, I made everlasting peace everywhere,' bragged Trump to two dozen images of himself reflected in the lenses of television cameras in the Oval Office.

'No one makes bigglier peace deals than me,' he crowed, as a billion TV viewers hurled shoes at their screens in exasperation.

'And after I flattened Oslo with my personal fleet of Boast-2 bombers, people are saying I'm a shoo-in for the 2025 Nobel Peace Prize. They're already saying it'll be the last Peace Prize ever awarded, because we won't need any others after this.'

'We need regime change," said the Ayatollah Khameini, pulling out clumps of his beard in fury, 'because America has become a rotten, corrupt theocracy with a supreme leader who does nothing but worship himself.'