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Bank holidays to include tax avoidance for banks

These 'Banker's Holidays' will allow hard-working white-collar criminals to catch up with their fictitious tax returns and editing 'The Evening Standard'.  The four new days will be in addition to the other 361 calendar dates when the City of London is permitted to transfer funds to Switzerland, run pyramid schemes and launder money for Gary Barlow.

Many are expected to head to the beach on these days - bucket, spade and Krugerrands in hand - provided it's situated on the Cayman Islands. There are also plans for festive holidays to celebrate the only religion that matters - money; explained one Minister: 'After all, if you work in the financial sector, every day is Christmas'.

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