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Big Bird admits role in vaccine conspiracy

Updated: Dec 23, 2021

Sesame Street character Big Bird has accepted accusations he is helping to front a pro-government propaganda campaign and is part of a global Covid conspiracy.

Fox News and tin foil hat aficionado Warren Wright, said ‘Big Bird is an agent of the deep fried chicken state, a Chinese Communist Party kung po patsy. He’s part of the yellow peril, brought to you by the letter Q and the number 45.’

Big Bird’s law firm, Bert and Ernie LLP, issued a statement saying ‘Our client was told it was take big pharma’s money or they’d arrange a meeting with Colonel Sanders. An eight foot tall, bright yellow flightless bird can’t go into hiding, so now he’s count von counting his backhanders, although you grouches are making it el-mo’ money, el-mo' problems. He couldn’t give two Ted Cruzes about Covid, bird flu is the real issue. That and Colonel Sanders.’

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