It was announced today that the British Museum, under pressure from academics and activists to repatriate artefacts taken from elsewhere in the world, will hold a 'closing down sale'.
Under the slogan 'Everything must go!!!', the museum will encourage descendants of the original owners to turn up and take home its exhibits. 'There are handy labels to show where we got everything, in case of confusion' explained a spokesman.
'And if it turns out no one’s that bothered about a bit of old pot that some distant ancestor of theirs might once have used, well, just come and take it anyway. Frankly we’re tired of the bad publicity.'
Ironically, some of the unclaimed artefacts already form part of an exhibition on European colonialism at a museum in Nairobi.
'We can’t be 100% sure why the British went all over the world collecting these random objects,' explains the card next to one display case. 'Presumably it had some sort of ritual significance for them.'