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Children in Need Latest: Michael Gove's Disco Danceathon raises almost £0.47

Updated: Jan 11, 2022

The world's leading backstabbing Tory and stray bottle of minge deodorant, Michael Gove, shattered all records at this year's televised charity extravaganza.

Boldly going where no Secretary for Levelling Up, Housing and Whatever has been before, he danced non-stop for 48 hours, raising almost a penny an hour. This is roughly the same amount that Mr Gove believes should be the UK's minimum hourly wage rate.

Mr Gove said he hoped the money would be put to good use, such as helping councils shut down foodbanks and padlocking children's playgrounds at weekends.

His former wife, Sarah Vine, commented that she was delighted for Michael, but it was pretty obvious why she'd decided to divorce the idiot.

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