Having suspended thousands of party members, many in error, the Labour Party has targeted the abstract concept of ‘Disbelief’. This means being banned from the annual conference, despite other attendees including Boredom, Hypocrisy and Dumbf$ckery.
Unconfirmed reports that even suspenders have been suspended; said one member: ‘We have had to remove a set of bright red bracers for their support of trousers and of Palestinian rights’.
Party leaders have worked out that their best route to electoral success, is getting rid of all the membership, polices and the whiff of democracy. Said one executive: ‘And if only we can work out a way to ban all the voters as well…’