Combined efforts of Repair Shop experts unable to restore one man's reputation

Updated: Jun 21

In a sensational TV first, the experts at BBC's Repair Shop have collectively admitted defeat and been unable to restore something brought into their workshop.


Viewers watched in disbelief as a blond, tousle-haired, rotund apelike man from London shambled into the barn, after leaning his rather heavy and chunky bicycle against the wall outside. The man explained he had brought a completely shattered reputation and asked if the experts could somehow repair it.


Workshop Supremo, Jay Blades, was sympathetic to the request and assured the man that he and the team would 'give the task their absolute collective best,' and 'do what they could'; but he cautioned, that in his opinion, as the reputation was so badly damaged, its owner 'should not hold out an awful lot of hope.'


He later told viewers. 'To be honest, this is a totally lost cause really, but we'll have a go anyway. Thing is, there are no original parts and over the years it's been destroyed by serial procrastination, and an utter disregard for the truth or decency. It's shagged in my opinion. But, who knows, maybe Will can somehow work a miracle.'


As cameras rolled every single craftsman and woman attempted the repair and restoration of the tattered reputation, but in the end none was able make progress, with one who wished to remain anonymous commenting: 'Even Barry Bucknell in his prime couldn't get a result here.'


The reputation's owner was seen returning a week later when it was left to Blades to break the bad news. He sat the man down in a sideroom and in a hushed voice explained: 'Sorry mate, we tried everything but this is just too far gone. There's nothing can be done with it. I'm afraid it's entirely f*@ked.'

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