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Conservative Conference ends up being as sexy as always

Updated: Nov 21, 2021

It is the social event that everyone was talking about, where models came to pick up tips and teenagers fantasize about internships ‘with benefits’. Debutantes vied for attention of tomorrow’s William Hague, all in the hope that he would whisper sweet nothings – or Universal Credit as they call it.

Fashion gurus applauded the range of tweed on display, while the paparazzi swarmed the conference with rumours that Dominic Raab had a new pair of socks. Said one fashionista: ‘The chinless look was SO in this year. Combined with the vapid facial expression, that suggested that your parents were cousins. It’s bold. It’s old. It’s wealthy. Be it the raw animal magnetism of Boris or the come-to-bed monocle of Jacob Rees Mogg, there was so much eye candy on display.

‘They were dirty, like their money. Woof!’

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