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Conservative MPs to get special protected status

With the Conservative party looking at an extinction level event in early July, scientists have drawn up plans to save the species from disappearing entirely, although nobody can explain why.

'We are looking at their natural habitat and feeding methods for starters,' said one scientist. 'They appear to be naturally predatory, especially on social media, and hunt in packs,' he added. 'The plan is to round up stray Tories on the 5th July and place them in special enclosures,' he said, noting that Wormwood Scrubs and Strangeways were two such enclosures.

'Other gaols are available,' he added.

Image: Newsbiscuit

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