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Criminals demand prior notice of raids, arrests and stakeouts

American criminals are demanding at least 48 hours notice of any raids, arrests or stakeouts.

'How are we supposed to hide things if we don't get any notice?' asked a career criminal living in Florida believed to called Ronald Dump.

"Fingers" McGraw of New Jersey agreed. 'It would cut crime; I would never have stolen that car if I'd known the police were watching.'

Alex Jones agreed. 'If only I'd been warned that breaking the law was illegal, I wouldn't be in this mess.'

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