Dart frog which killed Navalny died when Putin touched it
- Jeremynh
- 1 hour ago
- 1 min read
"To assassinate the traitor Alexei Navalny in his Arctic penal colony, we flew in a rare and tiny poison dart frog from South America," cackled a spokes-hyena for the Kremlin.
"That frog contains a toxin 200 times stronger than morphine, and a single drop of it did for him.
"Afterwards, the frog was flown to Moscow so President Putin could shake it by the claw and thank it for its good work.
"However, after a single touch from Putin the frog collapsed, writhing in unwatchable agony, and died within seconds.
"Unfazed, the President ordered the creature to be grilled and served to him as an amuse-bouche."
Vladimir Putin is 73 years old in anthrax years.