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Dog wins custody of Johnny Depp

Divorce documents have been filed by Johnny Depp and his actress wife Amber Heard, citing ‘irreconcilable dogs’ as the cause. The pooches, having escaped capture by the Australian Government, are hoping they can save the flea-bitten Depp from the dingo grinder, that is his marriage.

One dog remarked: ‘Yes, we’ll lose some kennel space but after the dog’s diner of the Lone Ranger, Johnny will be used to spending time in the dog-house.’

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