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Dude, don't have a Bercow

Scene: an exclusive gentleman's club. Two dapper chaps are sharing a bottle of fine whiskey.

A: You've been looking into the allegations for some time, I take it?

B: Indeed. Shocking business. But it is no more than one would a expect from such a person.

A: It will end in disgrace, no doubt?

B: Indeed. But I fear it will be like water off a duck's back for him.

A: Yes. However, I have a little ruse that may have an impact.

B: Do tell.

A: Well. You know he has always hankered after a peerage?

B: Unlikely now, one would have thought.

A: Yes, but certain people would like to emphasise by giving a knighthood to a total loser.

B: You don't mean ...

A: Yes, yes. Gavin Williamson!!

B: Brilliant.

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