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Ellen photographed watching lacrosse with Bin Laden

Publicists for Ellen DeGeneres have been forced to defend historical images of her enjoying water-polo with Pol Pot, table-tennis with Hitler and ice-curling with Fred and Rosemary West.  This comes after a photo emerged of her, laughing at a Cowboy's game, in the company of renowned LGBTQ+ activist, George W. Bush.

She explained that she had many friends with whom she held differing opinions, her spokeswoman said: 'We all have a friend we disagree with; they favour pineapple as a pizza topping, you don't.  They prefer rendition, you don't.  They prefer to torture people by forcing water down their throat, you prefer a pineapple.’ Asked if she had taken the opportunity afforded her by her $10,000 seat to challenge George W about his illegal wars and his human rights abuses: 'No, that would be impolite'.

Opinion is split about how we treat those we diverge with, with many liberal commentators suggesting that the Nuremberg Trials could have been replaced with a brief tutting noise, followed by an agreeable night at the theatre. Ellen made it clear that the important thing was to remain amicable with those you are in conflict with; a policy the Bush family always applied to people of Iraq.  The spokeswoman said: 'George and Ellen may disagree about a range of issues but they both agree it’s great to be rich.'

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