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Entire pod of 55 Conservative MPs dies after mass stranding on beach

An entire pod of 55 Conservative MPs has died after a mass stranding on a western beach. Only 15 were alive after they washed onto a beach at South Torrie on the Isle of Lobbyist at about 07:00 on Sunday morning.

Marine charity British Diverse Life Rescue (BDLR) attempted to refloat one of the more active MPs but he was then re-stranded. The decision was taken to end the careers of the remaining MPs on welfare grounds. Lobbyist Isles Council has asked people to avoid the area as a clean-up operation began.

The BDLR released an update on Sunday evening which said that one of the defunct MPs appeared to have had a scandal. This led them to suspect that the whole pod stranded due to one MP giving a press conference.

Conservative MPs are known for their strong social bonds, so often when one gets into difficulty and strands, the rest follow.

A further three MPs then resigned leaving 12 still active - eight males and four females. A statement said: 'At about 15:30, the local GP along with the Coastguard, Fire and Rescue, and a forensics doctor came to the conclusion that the shallow beach and rough wave conditions made it too unsafe to refloat the remaining politicians' careers.

'Considering how long the MPs had been out of the media in addition to the poor conditions, it was decided that their careers should be culled on welfare grounds.'

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