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Epstein's pilot scheduled to die mysteriously

Updated: Jan 9, 2022

Having named, under oath, high profile sex traffickers, Epstein's pilot has been instructed to update his will and cancel any plans for Xmas. Having outed Clinton, Trump and the Grim Reaper, his days are numbered - and his brakes are definitely tampered with.

Despite being the one cast list not to include James Corden, Epstein's attendees are a who's who of celebrity. Most of whom cannot tell their Isle of Wight from Wrong.

The biggest logistical problem is deciding whether the Queen's or the CIA's assassins should get to him first. The quick turn around means the police only have one week to disconnect all the cameras in his cell and to find a nice, strong piece of rope.

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