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Even Trident missile thinks nuclear war is stupid

After another failed launch, it has become abundantly clear that the UK's own nuclear deterrent is a member of CND. The missiles have deliberately failed in order to emphasis the futility of war and collectively bargain for weekends off.

Refusing to come out of its launch bay, one missile said: 'I told my career's advisor that I didn't want to have a nuclear warhead. In fact I just wanted to be a firework or a gender reveal explosion.

'If you want me to blow up in a meaningless way, the least you can do is put Elon Musk on board.'

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