Our NewsBiscuit theatre correspondent understands that the Tory Party Players intend to stage their own unique production of the 1978 musical comedy Grease. There is a poignant sub-text to their version which reflects their growing dissatisfaction with the leadership of the Party. The leads will be played by Liz Truss as Sandy Olsson, and Dominic Cummings as Danny Zuko. Insiders say that their onstage chemistry is "electrifying". Here is an exclusive excerpt from their song sheet:
We got ills, they're multiplying
And we're losing control
Cause the power, you're supplying
It's mortifying!
You better shape up, cause I need a man
And my heartland is set on you
You better shape up, you better understand
To my heartland I must be true
No-one left, no-one left for you to choose
You've the votes that I want
You have the ones I want
Oo,Oo,Oo Money
You've the votes that I want
You are thing I want
Oo, Oo, Oo Money
You've the votes that I want
You Have the ones I want
Oo, Oo, Oo, the ones that I need
Oh yes indeed...