Washington DC, 1865: 'Where's that slave-freeing bastard Lincoln? Oh, interesting play... hang on, I know that actor, what was he in again?'
1914: 'Downtown Sarajevo's been pedestrianised, better tell our chauffeur to turn back.'
1066: 'No, William, wait. The Channel Tunnel will be finished by 1068 - honest!'
Rome, 44 BC: 'Oh no - health and safety regulations say knives can't be removed from the Forum canteen. Caesar assassination's off.'
The great nail shortage of 33 AD: 'OK, Jesus, community service it is.'
1215, Runnymede: 'How about we scratch all this crap about ditches and extend the rights to women and poor people?'
20 April, 1889: 'Congratulations Mrs Hitler; it's a girl.'
22nd June 2016, Westminster: 'Stuff this Brexit nonsense. Let's get smashed and join the Euro.'
25th April 1974, Lisbon: The Carnation Revolution - 'No, not the evaporated milk, I meant put the flower in the barrels of the rifles.'
17th November 1989, Prague: The Velvet Revolution - IKEA encourage the people of Czechoslovakia to 'chuck out your chintz.'
4th July 1996, USA: Independence Day - The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air making his big movie break (unclear if this will still be celebrated).
The Pope, 1527: 'Fair enough Henry, you've been a good mate in the past, say three Hail Marys and I'll grant you a divorce.'
Christopher Columbus, 1492, somewhere in the Atlantic: 'We've been sailing for days, we've found nothing and I'm feeling sick as a parrot - let's turn round and go home.'
'Are you sure you want to go to Damascus, Saul?'
Hat tips to additional contributors: Lockjaw, sockpuppet, SteveB, sirlupus