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Greek credit rating identified as new pentaquark particle

One physicist said: ‘Just when we thought things couldn’t get any smaller, we find their federal reserves – one torn drachma, stuffed down the back of a sofa. Our next project is to look for something so minuscule that no one truly believes exists – like ‘hope’ for the Greek economy’.

The sub-atomic credit balance, is so small that Kate Moss would consider it a filling meal. ‘Our research is based on the financial equation IMF x EU = S. With ‘S’ is equal to a Snowball’s chance in Hell. In Switzerland we hurl particles through a narrow tube with microscopic outcomes, in Greece they squeeze blood from stone with much the same effect’.

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