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Grim Reaper beats CIA to Castro


Despite 638 attempts, the Central Intelligence Bureau has failed to do what natural causes has managed to do in an instant. The death of Fidel Castro, at 90, is less a success for covert operations and more attributable to Mr. Castro choking on a ‘Werther's Original’.


Cuba under Castro is the story of a small island that stood up to the tyranny of a neighbouring continent; very much like Brexit but where the money actually goes to healthcare. One CIA operative said of the belated victory: ‘We were just lulling him into a false sense of security…and a cosy nap. It was only a matter of time or a matter of lacing his Horlicks with strychnine. Anyway, we’d already rigged his Stannah stair-lift to explode.’


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