With firefights erupting in a breakaway region between Ukraine and Moldova, the inventors of Theatresports have proposed a great new improvisational schtick called: 'What the Heck is Happening in Transnistria?' Players respond to that prompt. Ukraine celebrated the announcement and began the game with an ironic response: 'Transnistria can’t be at war with us, because it doesn’t exist. Realistically that land is just a part of Russia.'
Unexpectedly, the Transnistrian head of state then also denied the existence of Transnistria: 'Transnistria is not at war, we are the Pridnestrovian Moldavian Republic.' This upset Moldova, which fired back: 'Leave us out of it. You should really say the Administrative-Territorial Unit of the Left Bank of the Dniester under Russian Occupation. Or ATULBDRO, that’s much easier.'
In Moscow, the Almost as Great Dictator was not sure how to keep the witty repartee going: 'If I recognise a Republic of Transnistria, folk will think our plans to bugger the Black Sea region started way before 2014, like circa 1992 when we started arming those old separatists. But maybe I will… after all, our recognition of the new Donbas republics has gone so beautifully.'
Of course, the Trumpian Republic of Florida Which Totally Exists - Bigly reacted quickly to the moral turpitude of that response: 'Just don’t say Transnistria, it’s not a real thing, it’s either Boynistria or Girlnistria, God has spoken.'