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'I've already got Christmas sorted,' claims smarmy bastard

An insufferable bastard has already paid for, wrapped and planned a wonderful Christmas, he has revealed to family and friends.

With each gift lovingly considered and bought way back in September, James Stubbs, from Surrey, claims he "could have Christmas tomorrow" if needs be, suggesting that men who plan Christmas last minute should reconsider their priorities.

'I don't get the hostility from fellow husbands and dads out there, it's not like I'm making them look bad,' said the 38 year old, who already has a heart-meltingly wonderful Valentine's Day 2024 nailed.

'I guess I just care too much. Is that a thing, caring too much? Perhaps it is.'

Not everyone was impressed, however. 'I'm sick and tired of him making the rest of us men look bad, I do my best,' said frustrated neighbour, Nigel, who last year did all of his shopping on Christmas Eve at the Esso petrol station.

'I'm absolutely certain she said needed engine oil and new wiper blades. I did buy her a Kit-Kat Chunky too.'

Story: benjani

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