Illegal cigarettes “every bit as dangerous as legal ones”
- eppursimuove
- 1 day ago
- 1 min read
A BBC investigation has revealed that illegal cigarettes, sold under the counter at many innocent-looking convenience stores, are every bit as dangerous as the legal ones they also sell.
“This is absolutely disgraceful,” said a Home Office minister. “Many people, often poor and ill-educated, are destroying their health with these evil, addictive products, and the Treasury isn’t making a penny out of it.”
When an aide suggested that might sound a bit callous, the minister explained “Look, it costs the NHS a fortune every year to treat completely unnecessary illnesses caused by smoking. Unless we also make a fortune in tax when people buy the fags, the maths just doesn’t add up.
”Besides, the tobacco companies give us millions every year, and they won’t be happy if we don’t clamp down on this… hang on, is this microphone still on?”
The minister then took a call from a water supplier, who complained it was very expensive to treat raw sewage, and asked whether they could just feed it back into the water supply instead. “Hmmm,” said the minister, “is there any way we could tax it?”
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