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Isle of Wight closes airspace to Belarus

Following the banning of Belarusian aircraft by the European Union, the Isle of Wight has become the first area in the UK to align with the EU Bloc.

At County Hall in Newport, the department of transportation was unequivocal in its remarks against the country and its recent actions. "We agree with the EU's decision to suspend Belavia from their airspace. As of midnight, we have refused flight corridors across the Isle of Wight to any Belarusian-registered aircraft. We have the Isle of Wight Navy on standby at Cowes and our anti-aircraft defence shield in operation at Shanklin. Well, when I say navy I mean the sea scouts in their dinghies sailing round the harbour. And our defence shield is just big John standing on the beach with a bucket of rocks, but he can throw them really far! Like past the sandbank! It's impressive, honestly!"

In Minsk, news of the ban has not been taken lightly. "We see this move by the Isle of Wight as unacceptable," said a spokesperson for President Lukashenko. "As such, we have imposed sanctions by banning the sale of Isle of Wight Garlic or gifts from the Needles Sand Shop into the country. We shall not be blocked from our aircraft going…oh, it's only 22 miles across? That's ok, we'll just go around it."

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