Pest control has confirmed that an elderly male is trapped underneath the floorboards of the West Wing and is refusing to be lured out, even with lucrative offers from the private sector and lifetime supply of cheese whiz. As his term as Vice-President draws to a close, friends say that Biden had become increasingly skittish, reverting to a feral democratic state, growling about the merits of ‘Big Government’.
Joe has spent eight years marking his territory with his heady musk of Old Spice and unfettered bison; while the incoming President has been advised that Biden may have defected in the Resolute Desk. Biden, of course, is not the first V.P. to remain in The White House. Glimpses of a naked Dan Quayle can still be spied, furtively running around South Lawn, foraging for berries. Meanwhile President Trump has ordered that Biden be captured and sent to an ‘inappropriate-petting’ zoo.
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