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Labour MPs have all the loyalty of Brutus or Zayn from 1D

Unfortunately, with his Shadow Cabinet resembling the revolving door of Taylor Swift’s love-life, Jeremy Corbyn is proving as popular with his own MPs as a mysterious grey pube in an 18-30’s hot tub. One ex-front bencher complained: ‘Jeremy’s to blame for everything, from Suez to the Tolpuddle martyrs. He’s just the wrong fit - he’s left-wing and principled – we’ve no place for that in the Labour Party.

‘Look, we’re in favour of all forms of democracy, except the ones we don’t like the outcome of. Some leadership ballots are more equal than others. And heaven forbid, he might actually win.’ Asked how they thought about the Trade Unions still backed Mr. Corbyn, the Labour source said: ‘A Trade Union? What’s that?’

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