Gene Cernan, 82, has passed away and has taken the secret of this elaborate hoax to the grave. Scientists now acknowledge that the Moon is a 2,000km block of cheese and that space flight is as unattainable as a connection on Southern Rail.
Filmed on a Pinewood soundstage, the faked moon landings are one of the most infamous tricks played on the US public; alongside the American Dream. The only genuine moon-walk was carried out by a Mr. M. Jackson in 1984, but he was soon assassinated by CIA operatives.
The commander of the bogus Apollo 17 flight, Mr. Cernan will be remembered for his commitment to the ‘long-con’ and keeping a straight face. The remaining six astronauts still alive are all sworn to secrecy or risk losing their membership to The Magic Circle. To this day only 20% of Americans believe the landings to be fake; less than the number that think Obama founded ISIS, Coke is the Real Thing or that being urinated on by a Russian prostitute is normal.
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