Lawyers to serve Prince Andrew papers, by hiding them on teenage girl

Frustrated by his attempts to avoid their couriers, a US law firm has decided the best way to lure Prince Andrew is to use bait – specifically 25% off at Pizza Express. They have also considered dressing the papers up as a young blonde or writing them in braille on the buttocks of a lingerie model.

Ninth-in-line to the throne, Prince Andrew is first-in-line to get sued in New York. Explained one lawyer: ‘We considered turning the papers into an edible bra for a Playboy model – but we hear he prefers pizza’.

The Prince lists his titles as KG, GCVO, CD, ADC but the court just lists him as AWOL. They may have to try Habeas Corpus, which literally means ‘you shall have the body’ – which allegedly is what got the Prince into trouble in the first place.

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