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Leather elbow patches give teachers Covid immunity.

Studies prove that thanks to prolonged exposure to snotty children have built up an immunity to viral infections.  Teachers are able to go to work, seemingly without ill effect, other than their usual dead, soulless eyes.

A spokeswoman for the Prime Minister explained the absence of PPE: ‘Mr. Johnson does not believe in protection – just ask the child support agency.’  Unlike those dying of Covid, teachers cannot get ill – except during school holidays. Even if they do die on the job, technically: ‘It’s their own time they’re wasting’.

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