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'Look, petrol is still 0.1p cheaper than next penny up', notes optimist

Updated: Dec 7, 2021

The petrol crisis isn’t as bad as it could be, as the price per litre is still a tenth of a penny below the next penny up, thanks to the benevolence of profit-making oil companies, noted a man today.

‘People should look on the bright side’, said Pete McBride, looking out of the window of his Ford Focus in a queue on the lead up to his local Esso garage. ‘The price per litre is still only 136.9, no wait, 137.9. People should thank their lucky stars that ‘big oil’ isn’t taking everyone for a ride by rounding the price up to the next penny every time they increase it. Look, 139.9.’

‘They’ve held the line for us, throughout, the big multinationals with their 0.9 thing’, continued McBride. ‘Even now that we’re facing the prospect of only being able to afford an eggcup of unleaded once a fortnight, you have to take your hat off to these oligopolists. They could easily just cream in the profits by nudging the price up another 0.1p but they never do. See, it's 141.9 now. Still looking out for the little guy. Respect to them. ’

‘The only problem is the time it takes people to pay. People are always fumbling around in their car seat wells for some 0.9 coins to pay with - they’re in such short supply’, said McBride. ‘Luckily I’ve perfected my forecourt technique so I manage to dispense to a full pence unit every time, I’ve actually never once ended up with 0.9 to pay’.

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