The Lords pavilion was described as "peaceful" today after a night of riots which saw windows smashed, irreparable damage done to paintings of old cricketers, and thousands of MCC members arrested.
"We are seeking justice for a young man cruelly dismissed by the wicked Aussies," said a furious club member in a Panama hat, who was filling empty Bollinger bottles with petrol to throw at the umpires.
"He was so new at the crease, and his innings held such promise. They callously dispatched him when he was only on 10."
Match officials in riot gear are being stationed throughout the stands at Lords in preparation for a second night of violence, with instructions to hammer all disorderly MCC members into submission.
"I'm already pretty hammered," groaned a disorderly old gentleman with a red nose, wearing a striped blazer and tie. "But that's because I spent the whole of yesterday and last night knocking them back at the Tavern bar."
image from pixabay