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Lottery winner still not depressed 8 weeks after announcement

In an extraordinary turn of events Jack Carter, the Euromillions winner and former landscape gardener, continues to be euphorically joyful - despite sociological expectations that he would now be wholly dependent on Prozac.


Contrary to the popular belief that above a certain threshold money cannot increase happiness, Jack's situation demonstrates entirely the opposite. In fact, his contentment rises in line with the quantity of consumer goods he acquires, conclusively proving that materialism is not a fleeting pleasure.


After guzzling a 1961 Dom Perignon straight from the bottle, Mr. Carter declared: 'Everybody should own an Ultra HD curved-screen TV. The higher levels of contrast mean that less external light is directed towards you, creating an unbelievably immersive experience. If you have a why to live you can bear almost any how'.


Image: Pixabay/kalhh

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