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Magic Party launches manifesto to wide acclaim

The little-known Magic Party launched its election manifesto today, to wide popular acclaim.

The headline promises in the manifesto are:

- health, wealth and happiness for all

- good schools for everyone

- a good home for everyone

- stopping global warming

- low tax

- peace on earth

- free beer at polling stations

Ordinary voters are very positive about the manifesto promises, despite some lack of detail on how these ambitious goals will be delivered. They are not deterred by the Magic Party’s lack of track record or their unknown candidates.

The charismatic leader of the Magic Party, Dan Galf, is new to general election politics in the UK, but says that similar policies were vote winners in his previous stomping ground which he calls ‘the shires’. He admits that the policies may take more than one term to deliver and that there are some challenges ahead on affordability. He said that negative media coverage of some Magic Party candidates is ‘just a glitch’.

Voters seem ready to embrace the Magic Party and its radical agenda. We spoke to an ordinary voter called Colin Dale, 62, on a Clapham omnibus. He said, ‘The ordinary parties have no vision about housing, schools or health. They just go on about ten more of this, or twenty fewer of that. Or they obsess about weird things like garden bridges and helping rich people with more tax breaks. Or they promise stuff to their funders. Or they plan to do odd things that they’ve already placed bets on.’

Experts say that the Magic Party will need to work hard to break through to the voters. ‘They are going to need some pretty special TikTok videos,’ said one, 'they are up against Ed Davey, after all.'

Colin says that he will seriously consider voting Magic. ‘Voting Magic is just like buying a lottery ticket. It’s not very likely to work out, but if it does, then it would be completely brilliant. When you look at the alternatives, it’s got to be worth a punt.’

Image: Generated using stablediffusion

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Colin Dale, 62, from Portsmouth, on a Clapham omnibus ...

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