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Man almost cares about Royals' surgery

A middle aged man had to check himself yesterday, when he found he almost gave a crap about the royal family.

Dave Garside, 52, of Selby was driving home last night when he heard on the radio news that, yet another royal, has been under the knife.

Dave told our reporter, "It just came on the radio that the Duchess of York, had been in hospital. I started welling up. I thought she might be one of the Big Five, you know like Kate, or Melons Windsor or the other one, you know, Koo Stark."

He continued, "You know, you wait around for a Royal operation and then three come along all at once. I felt for them. A tear came to my eye. Then it runs out it wasn't an important one, but that toe sucking one from back in the day. I'm bitterly disappointed."

A spokesman for Buckingham Palace assured us that all three royals were in good spirits and recovering well. 

Melons Windsor was unavailable for comment and believed to be staying with friends.

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