Mediums have described 'agitated' visits by the ghost of Queen Victoria, who is reportedly concerned about Britain’s declining fortunes.
‘She’s very moody’, one mystic told us. ‘At first she was impressed with my iPhone, but when she found out the company is American and the phone was made in China she went quiet and then started effing and jeffing. Thank God she isn’t a poltergeist’.
Another psychic reported a ‘stormy’ discussion with Queen Victoria after seeing a map of the world. ‘Her Majesty asked me, quote “why isn’t it red any more and where the f*ck did f*cking Burma go?” Then she went on about places I’ve never heard of, like Sudan and Rhodesia. It was horrible’.
Queen Victoria was never much fun to be around in life; if anything, death appears to have made her even grumpier. Still, at least she’s only mourning a lost Empire. George Washington’s ghost was on earlier, mourning the lost soul of America. Makes you think.
Have you been visited by a deceased monarch? Maybe Harold moaning about his eye? Or Charles the First, minus his head? If so, please keep it to yourself. Ditto for vegans: we don’t need to know.
