Sighing heavily whilst looking over at the waitress who was helpfully talking a family through the gluten free options, a bellend muttered, 'Look at them pandering to that spoilt, attention seeking brat, they’ll soon grow out of it.'
Talking loudly enough so the next table could clearly hear, he went on 'I mean, no one didn’t like a bit of gluten when I was growing up, what have they suddenly got against bread? An autoimmune condition sounds like a made-up thing, like healing crystals or Socialism.'
After waving the menu and clicking his fingers, the bellend kept other diners fully informed of his opinions, 'I mean, it’s not like the nuts thing is it, he’s not going to explode or anything interesting. I don’t understand it, so that means it’s not real. That’s just common sense.'
The bellend then started asking about off menu options like he’d seen flash people do on YouTube, as kitchen staff prepared to piss on his chips.