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Man thinks his ‘lucky pants’ will help England win the World Cup

A man from Dudley thinks that by wearing his ‘lucky’ underpants, he can influence the performance of his national football team.

Tom Crump, who works in his local library as a shelf, told us, “I happened to be wearing a new pair of underpants when England beat Switzerland 3-0 in the Euros in 2004, and I was still wearing them when we beat Croatia 4-2 a few days later. That’s when I realised the pants must be lucky! So just to be on the safe side, I’ve worn the same pair of pants for every England match ever since. I know England didn’t go on to win the Euros in 2004, or since, and they haven’t won the World Cup for 56 years - but I reckon England’s results would have been much worse over the last 18 years if it hadn’t been for my lucky pants!”

His wife Emma said, “He laughs at me when I read my horoscope in the paper, and says it's a pile of superstitious horsesh*t. Yet he somehow manages to believe that by wearing an old pair of cheap underpants, he can affect the performance of a bunch of men kicking a ball about in a field. He’s had the pants for so long now that they’re starting to disintegrate, and during a tournament he won’t even take them off so I can wash them, and they really start to stink. He’s an idiot!"

Emma went on to say, “He’s flying to Qatar tomorrow with his brother, who’s as daft as he is. They’ll have to be careful they don’t get arrested for accidentally breaking any laws while they’re out there, as I know they have a lot of strict rules about stuff…

"I don’t suppose they arrest people for stupidity in Qatar, do they? No? Pity…”

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