A man who has done a few things for charity over the years has found himself wondering why the world’s problems haven’t been sorted out by now.
Dave Parsons says it all began when he was at school, when all the kids had a “Barnados box” they were encouraged to put their spare change into, though he wasn’t sure if his was ever handed in. Since then, he has done several “fun runs” with work colleagues and once even set up a regular donation because the girl who stopped him in the street was pretty.
'And what do I find? The environment’s worse than ever, the rivers are full of shit, people are still starving somewhere or other, and seals, or otters or whatever it was, are still endangered.
'And that homeless guy by the tube station I once bought the Big Issue from was there again this morning. I mean, what was it all for? I should have spent my change on sweets and comics like I wanted to.'
However, a spokesperson for a major famine relief charity reassured him that the money donated by him and others “has made a huge difference”.
'I mean, without your donations, we’d never have been able to send our people to poor countries to sample the local poontang. The trick is to find the ones with young kids to feed - you wouldn’t believe what they’ll do for a handful of rice.'