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Men confirm plans to eat absolutely loads of bread

Men have confirmed their plans to eat prodigious quantities of bread, in all its various forms.

This will include the consumption of some form of breaded product at every single meal, as well as topping up with bread-based snacks in-between, men everywhere noted today.

Men also stressed that where bread products are not naturally included with a meal, provisions will be made to add bread in, in the form of side-orders of rolls, pittas and naan breads, bread to mop up gravy and meat juice, bread to sandwich a piece of meat or fish between, and in extreme situations, breadsticks.

'It's actually hard to believe how much I love bread', confirmed Pete McBride, 47, between munches of a ridiculously large chunk of white farmhouse loaf. 'So far today, I've had a pain au chocolat and croissant for breakfast, a sarnie for lunch, a nice teacake mid-afternoon, and some garlic bread for tea - with a bit of pasta. I've got to go now, as it's actually nearly time for my three slices of toast before bed.'

In other news, men have revealed they will continue to eat frankly astonishing amounts of cheese, almost exclusively late at night.

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