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Middle-class parents devastated to learn no one cares what their kids can do

Middle-class couples are said to devastated after finding out that no one but themselves gives two shiny shites about the alleged brilliance of their kids, according to new research.

Professor Alan Redrow told reporters. 'Although proud Myles' and Saras everywhere might be bowled over that little Alicia, aged eight mind, can play every last one of Chopin's etudes, and miss no opportunity to ram this down the throats of dinner party guests, nobody but themselves give a toss.

'This kind of smug self-congratulatory boasting only instils deeply repressed hatred and jealousy as other parents are forced to have to suck it up practically all fucking night.'

Nevertheless, mum of two, Rowena Phipps-Potter, who runs a dress hire business in affluent Chalfont St Peter disagrees vehemently. ‘I simply cannot accept this research as being anything other than totally erroneous. Sasha and Briony, our two darling children, are quite simply amazing. Everyone within our circle of friends says so and never grows tired, when Gyles, my husband, and I, talk about them incessantly.

‘And, if I may just add this. Our end-of-year round-robin letters are eagerly anticipated by absolutely everyone in our set.’


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